Victories don’t always feel good. Good choices don’t always make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Today I had to make one of those choices and I had one of those victories. Suffice it to say I feel really crummy, but I know I did what is right. I made a good choice and am conqueror, victor, champion, winner (and that’s all the words I can think of without pulling up thesarus.com). I did it only by the help and support of a really truly good friend… one of those friends who will tell you what is painful when you need it… one who will love you even though you’re sometimes an idiot… one who doesn’t judge you but helps you be better anyway… one who will fearlessly play your cheerleader… one who calls you to higher ground. These friends are rare jewels, precious and priceless. Thank you, Alex. I love you soooo much. You’ll never know what you mean to me and I hereby pledge to keep our friendship dusted off… even if it means not going to bed until 4 AM. Please, though… could we manage these things a little better? Maybe we could have our crises at say… midnight? ;o) Also, I have to say thank you to my sister for the brave example she gave by making the same right choice in her own life and for showing me that it was right for my life too.
Some victories do feel good. Some leave you feeling like you’ve accomplished something and you can now accomplish anything. I had one of those victories today too (see what a roller coaster day it’s been? It’s not even sundown!). It’s kind of silly, but I’ll take it anyway. Today I finally accomplished what I’ve been putting off for weeks and weeks now: I mowed my monsterous lawn. My sweet hubby even weed-eated… weed-eatered… weed-eaten… oh whatever the word is! You know! He weed-somethinged some of the edges and it looks really nice out there. Our friend came and plowed up our garden plot to help cut down on the weeds that will come up in the spring. All in all, that lawn is a victory. Again, a victory that wouldn’t have been won without the help of special people. And to tell you the truth, it’s not silly. That’s one huge lawn! It took me 2 1/2 hours to mow that sucker!
Now I’m aiming for a third victory. My school work. I didn’t get my library day today. Typically on a Friday, I take Jeremy’s laptop to the library and do my work in peace and quiet. I turn on my Celtic music and get in the zone. What would take hours at home suddenly breezes by. Today, though… well… I’m an emotional wreck and we had to do the lawn. So, I’m working at home. Or would be if I didn’t feel some compulsion to blog at the moment. This is another one of those nutty adult things you have to do sometimes… you just have to quit procrastinating and do it.
So off I go.
But a little note first…
I had this blog a while ago and I quit it. Deleted all the posts and intended to never log in again. I’d made some bad choices, said some hurtful things and dominoes started toppling. I’ve decided, though, that this is a good thing for me and lately, I’m making my choices based on more than just what’s good for others. I’m taking myself into consideration too (shock! I’d forgotten you could do that!). I enjoy blogging. I find it to be nearly theraputic. That said, I do need to watch my words and guide my tongue–so to speak–a bit better. So, check back for regular updates. I can’t guarantee anything. They might be funny, might be depressing, might be… well… I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?